Knots

My back hurts =[
I have at least two terrible knots in my back.... well, one's on my shoulder.
Kendall helped a lot though, but my lower back is always hurting from sitting over art, and computers, and books.
Another thing that hurts as much as the knots is my heart. I have met so many wonderful people at school. And I've become fast friends with several of them.
It hurts me when things happen to people I love, and I don't know what to say. I can't help them. The only thing I know how to do is be there with them. I just wish I could provide them with some kind of wisdom or solution.
But I've been confronted with situations that I'm not familiar with. I can't empathize. I want to be able to tell them that everything will be okay, but I don't know if it will be.
We are guaranteed hard times in our life.
Some times it's even hard to sympathize.

I've learned several things:
- I'm a pushover.
I hate it when I see my friends hurt, so I never want to be involved with creating a situation where that might happen. I need to learn to put limits on what I'm willing to do.
- I cry at odd things
I already knew a bit about this one. I dont cry at real life big things, like deaths. I just don't. But I cry during television shows, movies, and books. I also cry when I feel hurting. Tonight I felt like I was absorbing some of it, and in my crazy mind, I was hoping I was. I wish I could take some of the pain, so my friends didn't have to suffer. I have my problems, but things like my family life are great. So when I see people hurting over something I have never had to deal with, it breaks my heart. Some people have to go through things multiple times, and it's not fair. I wish I could save them from it.
- I'm compassionate
I just realized that. Is that jumping to a conclusion? I would hate to toot my own horn for fear of sounding prideful. But I've always felt deeply for my friends. I'm quick to love, too. The 5+ of us that hang out regularly have only been close for about 2 weeks. Yet four of them I feel like I've known them always. They're already my sisters.
It makes sense. I'm a very touchy-feely person. I scare some people sometimes because I hug them. And I love to hug. I love leaning on people or holding hands. It's all friendly! I just love feeling the sense of connection with people. I always worry it makes others feel uncomfortable. But these girls.are.the.best. It might be because we live together. Just a wall apart with half of them (I can even hear them right now).
I hope God uses me someday with my love. Sometimes it's so hard for me to love, and sometimes it's extremely easy. I know God will. Maybe He already has, but I wouldn't be gifted this way for nothing. I cant wait now to see what's coming up for me. I have so much love to give still.

But those things are not good when mixed together.
Easily taken advantage of and easily handing out love?
yikes. I need to keep a lookout.
It hurts to think that someone would do something harmful to someone who just wants to be a comforter, friend, sister, confidante, and lover.

hmmmm.... well, I should be off to bed.... it's quite early in the morning and I need to get up in a couple of hours for a chat. I pray I find the patience and love for this one (odd how someone who so easily loves, finds themselves unable to in some situations)
goodnight!
I love you!
=]