Mixy-Mashy

I hate when I get all "thinky." Don't get me wrong, I like being intellectual and all that jazz. But I guess I don't like that feeling when you get all moody and thoughtful. I think of emo high school students.
It makes me itch for change. I get so caught up in everything in my life. Technology being the biggest one. I love the internet and all the inspiration and wonderful things you can find on there. I love keeping in touch with my friends and family who are far away. But I get so overwhelmed by it. My computer becomes, and is, a major part of my existence. I guess it's become an idol to me. Ironic since I'm expressing how I feel about this on my blog.

I wish for simpler times. I just want to take a sketchbook, some pencils, and my Bible and go out somewhere. A place away from everyone. But I live on a campus that doesn't have my idea spot. I have no way of getting of campus with out the help of others, which compromises my alone time.
Meh.
Every morning, when I spend my time with God, I have a section where I thank Him for all the wonderful things he has blessed me with. And I an overwhelmed by all the things I don't deserve. Why was I given these things? It's not fair that I have so much. Then I feel as if I should give up some of it to those who need it more than I do, but my humanness holds on. It's so frustrating!

This time of year also makes me want to change. I want to be a fun cartoony- Disney person. I want to study insects, and collect the framed beetles and butterflies. I want to make amazing jewelry with bottles and old brass keys. I want to be an organized person who lists things and gets them done. I want to be an easygoing art major who enjoys nature and is more earthy, rather than the techie I tend to be. I want to be well studied in Art History, and know all the artists one should be familiar with. I want to travel to far off lands and have adventures without holding back. I want to be more active and go rock climbing or hiking.

I'm a split person. And my mind is split, so it's hard to bring it all together to focus on what I need to get done for now and for the future as well.
It's another reason I need to rely on God more. I need Him to keep me together. I need him to bring a piece of each of those ideals in order to shape me into the person I mean to be.

Ewwww... I hate being sentimental like this. If you read this far, I apologize.... And I reward you with a joke:
- There's a Pirate walking around and he's wearing a paper towel for a hat. So I ask him, "What's with the paper towel?" "Arrrr... I got a Bounty on me head."

.. Okay pretty bad. Let's try again...
- Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? All the sailors were marooned

Haha. I love those :] Okay, I've got work to do, until next time.. I'm Brenna Kathleen saying "goodnight, and go eat a cupcake."

*outro music*