Couldn't I skip once upon a time, and go straight to happily ever after?

Sometimes I feel as if life has accidentally hit the pause button.

And not the good kind, like "I wish this moment could last forever"

I mean like when you go to pause a video, and it stops at that exact moment when the actor happens to have the most ridiculous look on their face. One eye is half closed and their mouth is shaped like they just smelled something rechid.

Why is it that life slows down when it's the worst most boring time of your life?

And it just speeds up all jolly like once it starts to look up again.

True, at this moment I could be busying myself with moving preparations and packing for school. But because my life seems so dull right now, I can't perk myself up enough to do it.

Now that I think about it, I feel like I did when I first came home from school. My life had always been on the go and so busy and full of people and adventures. That once I got home it all just came crashing down around me. That is until I got busy with work and everything.

And now I'll be back at the place I so longed to be in a mere 3 days. And it's as if my life decided to slow itself down just before I'm to go back to the hustle bustle of it all.

And it's not just while I'm on break that I feel it. I feel a different kind when I'm at Biola. True, I have many things to do and lots of people to be with, but there is a sense of annoyance at all the things I have to go through to know who I'm going to be.

I want to know what God has in store for my life now! I want to know what I'll do. Who I'll marry. Where I will live.

I know that my future is the part of my life at which I am the least patient. But my future is exactly what is taking so long to discover.

Don't I have enough patience not to be tested any longer? Are there not other, less patient people out there in the world who could use the lesson more?

I suppose my thinking that proves that I need it.

Blast.